


Wish I Could Get A Little Undrunk

by relinquish_one_bullet



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-04 04:16:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17891327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relinquish_one_bullet/pseuds/relinquish_one_bullet
Summary: Got the hots for a ghoul and I haven't written anything in a long long time so. Oops? Mostly for Anissa as she's the only one who will dig this. Whee ^^





	1. The First Hit is the Hardest

**Author's Note:**

> If you like reading and want to support a starving artist, buy me a coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wQXbq7RsS

The Third Rail. 

That’s where Joey first saw him. Really saw him. She didn’t count the Goodneighbor welcome, that was all a blur. So much of this new world was a blur. She woke up on ice and sometimes she still felt like she was working through that frozen fog.

He was sitting in the farthest back booth, a girl in a tiny black dress pressed against his right side and another with a long black braid on his left. He, himself, had his arms back against the booth, an easy smile crossing his features. A ghouls features. She’d only seen a few up close, most of them living in The Slog, but she had a sweet spot for them nonetheless. So many people treated them poorly, for things they couldn’t control or change. She knew what that was like. 

Tonight was the first time she’d ventured out alone since Concord. Six months of constant rebuilding and traveling and pushing herself to her limits with people she was still getting to know. She needed a break. A drink. A night alone. At least, that’s what she’d told Valentine as he hovered in the doorway of her hotel room. It was hard to read his expressions, but he seemed unconvinced. Concerned. She had brushed it off and moved forward without a glance back. 

Now though, with the thick, smoky air cocooned around her and a sweet, pulsing melody dancing through the room, she paused. The stairs down into the subway station were worn, a clear pathway cementing her to one side as two love birds crashed down beside her, laughing and clutching at each other. 

She took a breath and then stepped down to the ground floor. The tables in front of her were all taken so she walked quickly to the bar, leaning heavy against it. A Mr. Gutsy model twittered over and she momentarily expected Codsworth’s voice to greet her. 

“What’ll ya have, bird?” 

“I…” Her voice caught somewhere in her throat as she tried to glance at the labels of dark bottles lining the back wall, her neck flushing 

Although the unit in front of her didn’t have facial features, she could feel the sarcastic, condescending glare. Her own glare made it onto her features, and she crossed her arms and straightened her back. It was a trick she’d learned since waking up in this foreign landscape. It worked and the robot backed up a few paces and regarded her again. 

“Got any gin?” 

“After my own heart.” He whirled away, arms reaching for various bottles and glasses 

“How much?” She fished for caps in her bag as he dropped the almost clean glass in front of her

“On the house. Owners orders.” 

He moved back again, and she was left alone once more. She settled onto a bar stool, twisting the glass in front of her around and around. How long had it been? She tipped the glass up and took a swig. Well gin. Warm. It stung down her throat and settled warm in her stomach.

She downed the rest of it, setting the glass down hard on the bar. She could hear the robot grumbling before she could see him, back in view in front of her. 

“Another then?” His appendages were already working on another drink

He set it on the bar in front of her and grabbed her empty glass in one motion. The second drink was easier. She turned in the bar stool and surveyed the room, less uncomfortable. A woman in a red dress swayed back and forth beside a mic, crooning out a song Joey didn’t recognize. She closed her eyes for a moment and pretended this wasn’t the end of the world, she was back in Boston, in a bar, a night out after a long trial, somewhere to still go back to. 

For a moment, she was home.

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

He watched her carefully, eyeing the way she moved between the tables to the bar in a rush. The people around him were talking amongst themselves but he didn’t hear a word, so focused on her profile as she ordered a drink. Her neck darkened slightly, no doubt in response to Charlie being a dick, and then she did something he didn’t expect. 

She straightened, facing the robot with a hardened expression. He didn’t think a vault dweller would have it in them. Charlie handed her a drink and she sipped it. What’d she used to drink? What’d they have before the bombs? He made a note to find out. 

“What is it about her that has you so… _fascinated_?” 

It was Babs, her dark, shiny braid shifting behind her like a tail. There wasn’t a hint of malice in the question, just playful curiosity. She turned towards Stella on his other side and opened her mouth. Stella grinned and dropped a Mentat onto her outstretched tongue before closing her eyes and dropping her head back against the booth with a satisfied sigh. 

He didn’t answer Babs, just turned back to watch her again. She downed the drink in front of her, a practiced movement, and that cemented his curiosity firmly in place. She had another drink in front of her by the time he extracted himself from the booth and stood in the open. 

Her back was to him as he walked closer, motioning for a drink from Charlie before settling into the seat beside her. When she turned back to the bar again, her eyes still closed, he took a good look at her profile. 

She had porcelain skin (a dead giveaway that she came from a vault) that looked even lighter with her coffee brown hair tied up in a messy bun. Dark brown freckles spotted across her cheeks and nose, which turned up very slightly. Her eyelashes appeared longer with the shadows cast from the lights above and she had a light, white scar that splotched beneath her left eye. Chemical burn, he was willing to bet. A new one.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” 

Her voice wasn’t what he expected. There was a sharpness to it, an intelligence, an authority. She’d fought for something, for a place in the world. Perhaps this new world wasn’t as big a shock as he anticipated. He smirked.

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

She leveled her gaze at the ghoul beside her, raising an eyebrow. The smirk was still plastered across his face, an oddly becoming expression she had no doubt he’d had plenty of practice with. 

“How’re you liking our fine establishment?” He asked, leaning an arm against the bar to watch her from a new angle

“It’s…interesting.” She took another drink, finishing her second glass

Hancock motioned to Charlie again and downed his own glass with her. Two more drinks were set in front of them. 

“I guess I should thank you for the drinks.” She raised her glass and he clinked his own against hers

A small smile crossed her features and he traced it with his eyes. The lights suddenly dimmed around them and Magnolia stepped off the stage. New lights bounced off the ceiling, the walls, the people scattered around the room. And then a new, heavier music took the place of silence. 

It took only moments for most of the people in the bar to stand, pressing against each other on the dance floor. Hancock seemed to be amused by them, momentarily glancing past her at the group. She took a moment to take him in, fully, to try to piece together this mystery of a person. 

He had the telltale signs of a ghoul: the dry, discolored skin, the missing nose, and the wide, black eyes. And then there was the outfit: red and gold and black. It was a costume. She glanced down the front, his shoulders to chest, before he caught her. 

“Like what you see?” She flushed, but only barely, and he smirked again, “Do you dance?”

“Dance?” She seemed unable to understand the word, “I…not in a while.”

“No?” He turned his full attention back to her, “What’re you doing down here, doll?”

“Taking a break.” She shrugged truthfully, “It’s been a long…six months.”

“A break, huh.” He mused, “I might be able to help you with that.”

He fished in his pockets for a moment, laying out a smattering of drugs on the bar in front of them. She eyed them curiously. Valentine wouldn’t approve, she knew that, and maybe drugs in an unknown environment was irresponsible.

But fuck it. She needed this.

She _wanted_ this.

“Pick your poison.” Hancock was already popping a pinkish-purple pill into his mouth

“What are those?” She pointed to the ones he was using

“Do we have a virgin?” He seemed ecstatic, leaning in close, “These are mentats. A personal favorite. Makes me feel…intellectual.”

He held them out and she opened her palm, letting him drop two into her hand. She took a moment, glancing down at the two little pills, and then popped them into her mouth. 

They seemed to explode like candy, sugary sweetness coating her tongue. For a moment she thought that’s all it was, a joke, but then the room went momentarily blurry. 

“Just keep breathing, sweetheart.” Hancock’s voice seemed far away, “Breathe through the first hit.”

And she did. She took a few deep breaths, closed her eyes, and then slowly opened them again. The people around her seemed to have a fuzzy light surrounding them whenever they moved. Hancock, who was closest, had a faint purple light that shimmered when he cocked his head to the side. 

“Doing ok, sister?” His hand was on her shoulder, steadying her, putting her back on the ground

“Yeah…I’m ok.”

And she was. She felt…lighter. Her mind wasn’t bogged down anymore, everything felt clearer. Almost like…it all made sense now. Hancock smiled and ordered another round of drinks and she leaned back in the chair to survey him openly.

“Why’re you being so nice to me?” She asked after the robot had brought them drinks, swirling the straw in her own 

“Just welcoming you to Goodneighbor, that’s all.” He retorted, taking a long drink as he watched the crowd slowly building up on the dance floor around them 

“I don’t believe you.” 

He barked out a laugh and shrugged, eyeing her again. There was something about him, something curious. She couldn’t quite place it, but he wasn’t wildly uncomfortable to be around. In fact, she felt quite the opposite. Like she’d known him, an acquaintance on the sidelines, for a very long time. She even felt… _safe_ , sitting here with him in his bar, in his city. 

“Well, you’ve caught me. I don’t welcome everyone to Goodneighbor quite this way. There’s just something about you though, something I can’t put my finger on yet.” He admitted the truth easily enough, “Doesn’t hurt that you’re easy on the eyes either.”

She didn’t blush, though there was a part of her that figured she would have had she been sober. Instead, she took another drink and watched the people around her dancing. It wasn’t really dancing though, more like pulsing, like a giant wave rocked through the crowd.

“So, what’s a girl like you need a break from?” 

It was an innocent enough question, one she could have brushed away. But he was staring at her so intently. He actually wanted to know. He actually was curious.

“It’s a long story.” She stalled

“I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the owner of this place. It stays open until I say it closes.” He grinned and she found herself smiling back, “C’mon. You look like you could use a uh… _figurative_ ear to vent to. Your secrets are safe with me.”

He nudged her very slightly, in a way that was much too comfortable for barely knowing each other. She thought back to her introduction to Goodneighbor, how he protected her and Valentine.

“Well…you asked for it.” She downed her drink and swayed for a moment

That one she felt. It settled into her stomach, warmed her. Already she could feel her face flushing slightly, she was buzzed for sure. Hancock was still watching her with those god damn eyes, bright and wide and swallowing her whole. She shrugged ever so slightly and turned to face him, her knee brushing up against his. 

“You know my backstory, everyone does thanks to Piper’s goddamn article.” She began, “Woke up on ice, everyone I knew gone, my son abducted. I’m trying to find him again.”

She paused, as though she’d just spewed up whatever she was expected to say. It was the same thing anytime anyone asked what she was doing. A preprogrammed response that didn’t even register in her emotions anymore. Hancock caught the tone right away.

“You ain’t being interviewed, doll.” He leaned back in his chair and gave her some space

“You’re right.” She conceded and sighed, “It’s easier to stick with the preprogrammed bullshit. I can’t afford to fall apart anytime soon. There’s too much at stake. But tonight I needed a break, get my head back on straight.”

She swallowed, unsure where to continue. Hancock was still watching her, sipping at his drink slowly. She sighed, glancing down at her hands. This new world, new life…she hadn’t prepared for it in the slightest. She’d been a lawyer for fucks sake. And now she was here, a gun strapped to her hip at all times and a knife in her boot just in case. 

“I don’t know who I am anymore.” She admitted it more to herself than to him 

“Let’s find out.” Hancock had another pill in his hand, one for him and one for her

She didn’t even hesitate this time. She didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel. She took the pill and popped it into her mouth, surprised at the black licorice taste. Then she closed her eyes again and took a few deep breaths. She could feel the music now, knocking against her skin. 

And then another sensation. Hancock had his hand on her shoulder again, holding her in place. When she opened her eyes he was watching her carefully. Was that…concern? She brushed it away and stood. If Hancock hadn’t stood with her, she’d have been swallowed by the crowd. Maybe that was ok. 

“Do you dance, Hancock?” she asked as he raised his eyebrows

“Only for people I really like.” He teased her 

She met his gaze for a moment and then took a step backwards into the crowd. She was testing him, he knew that, but he followed along anyway. Two steps, three steps, four. They were firmly in the middle of this pulsing group of desperate people. Some were attached at the hip, pressed together sporadically, hands in hair, mouth on mouth. 

She stopped in the middle and then stared up at the ceiling, at the bouncing lights. It was the first time she could remember in the past six months where she felt nothing. She thought of nothing. She just…was.

And fuck did she need it. 

She came back to the crowd in time to see two men in front of her fighting. Each got maybe one good punch in before security rounded them up to toss them out of the bar. She took a step back away from them, planting herself firmly against Hancock behind her. 

“You all right?” His voice was very near her ear and it made goosebumps rise along her arms 

Around her people had already filled in the gap and were swaying once more. She didn’t even have to try, they moved her body with theirs. And she let them, she gave in. She reached back and grabbed a corner of Hancock’s jacket, her last lifeline, and then closed her eyes again. 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

He tentatively reached out to grab her arms, to keep her from falling into the crowd. She didn’t seem that drunk, or even that high, but he kept her beside him nonetheless just in case. She was swaying with the music in a way that he had to fight to stop thinking about. 

He wasn’t sure how long they were there, swaying to music, but sooner rather than later she had turned and pressed her face to his shoulder. He didn’t realize she was crying, silent, oozing tears, until they dripped through his shirt to his chest. 

And this was something he was entirely unprepared for. He still had his hands on her arms and he held her there a moment, unsure. Finally, slowly, he wrapped his arms around her completely, loosely. 

She had her hands beneath his jacket, fingers twisted tightly into the back of his shirt. She never said a word, just let the tears fall quietly and without explanation and then closed her eyes and continued to sway against him. 

“Joey.” He hadn’t used her name the entire night he realized, “You ok?”

She didn’t respond, just tightened her fingers into his shirt. He rested his chin on her head and kept her wrapped up his arms, just in case. Maybe she just needed a place to let go, he’d been there before. Here, around a bunch of strangers, seemed better than around a bunch of people who would make a fuss. He understood that. 

It took her a few more songs to pull away, wiping an arm across her face to wipe away the last remaining tears on her eyelashes. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed, but she pulled away and sighed, staring at the ground. 

“Let’s get out of here.” He suggested

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

She glanced at up the comment, raising an eyebrow. Hancock seemed to be backpedaling because he looked appalled, his mouth open but no words coming out. 

“That line work for you much?” And just like that she was back, the nights weakness pushed away 

“Hey, c’mon.” He pushed her a little, “I’ve done a lot of questionable things in my life but take advantage of a lady? Never.”

He led the way out of the mob of people still dancing and pulled her to the stairs. She went without a fight, exhausted, drunk. She wiped a hand across her face again to make sure all the tears were gone; that’s the last thing she needed Valentine to see if he was up waiting for her return to the hotel. 

“And anyway, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I don’t really have much trouble in that department.” Hancock was continuing, because of an injury to pride or because he was nervous in the silence, she didn’t know

She did, however, believe him. There was something about him, something fundamentally charming, that she couldn’t quite grasp in her current state. Some people may have found him cruel but she felt him overwhelmingly kind. And in a world like this one, that was rare. 

“You don’t have to convince me.” She smirked and he rolled his eyes in response 

They emerged from The Third Rail and paused in the chilly night air. She filled her lungs with it and then stared up at the sky. It was something she hadn’t gotten used to. No real light pollution left meant the sky exploded with stars almost every night and it amazed her every single time. 

“You staying at the hotel?” He asked and she nodded, falling in line beside him 

“I can make it on my own.” She insisted, yawning 

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk a lady home at night?” He joked, wrapping an arm warmly around her shoulders 

When had this happened? How had she let him so close so quickly? It was probably nothing new for him, he seemed to exude that kind of friendliness with people. But she never had, not even before the war. She preferred a safe distance, a long getting to know you process. God, Nate had been a saint. 

“Top floor.” She shrugged when they got inside, and they made their way to the stairs

At the top of the stairs she paused, pressing a few fingertips to Hancock’s chest to keep him in place. She peered around the corner, half expecting to see Valentine waiting up in a chair outside her door. 

“Sneaking around mom and dad huh?” Hancock teased, whispering close to her ear

She punched his arm before she could stop herself and then crossed the threshold to her room. She unlocked the door and peered inside, grateful for the emptiness inside. Hancock hovered a moment in the doorway and then cleared his throat quietly. 

“Well…Welcome to Goodneighbor.” He grinned as she turned to face him once more 

The high was definitely wearing off and the light, drunk feeling she’d had earlier was replaced by sheer exhaustion. She nodded and offered him a small smile. 

“Thank you.” She gave in and gave him a small hug, “For everything.”

He stiffened slightly in her arms but then sighed and wrapped her up in a hug as well. In the morning she’d be gone and she probably wouldn’t see much of Hancock after that. Still, she was thankful for a night out, for a break from the world. Maybe it wasn’t all bad here after all. 

When she pulled away he paused, like he was going to say something, but swallowed it and offered her a half smile. She smirked at his expression, catching his chin between her thumb and finger and holding him in place. She leaned forward, too close, and then kissed his cheek. He exhaled a breath she didn’t know he was holding and she grinned in return. She was about to close the door when he said her name again, keeping a hand on the handle. 

“Just…take care of yourself.” He seemed to be trying to find words, “Don’t want you coming back to Goodneighbor missing anything… _crucial_.”

She scowled as he grinned again, a schoolboys expression, and then closed the door. It took only moments, lying on a dingy mattress and staring at the ceiling for her to slip into unconsciousness.


	2. Forgiveness is a Hell of a Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a one shot but here we are and I still hate myself.

She stayed where she was standing, staring at the doorway to Goodneighbor. 

Alone again, it was easier that way. She didn’t want to bring anyone else into this, it was her own responsibility. Her own choices. 

Maybe he wouldn’t recognize her. It had been months since she’d last seen him and so much had changed. She’d swiped her dark brown hair for bubblegum pink and had a few new scars to call her own. She certainly didn’t feel like the naïve woman who’d been here so many months ago, swaying to too loud music with chems rushing through her blood. 

She felt stronger too. She had walked into this wasteland without a clue and now she was quickly learning the ropes. Her skin was thicker, her voice was cruder. She wouldn’t be taken advantage of in any situation, she had a gun under her pillow, and she’d gotten good at convincing anyone of damn near anything. Apparently, the law degree had paid off after all. 

Still, she paused at the door. 

She finally opened it and walked through the dark alley in front of her. And that’s when she saw him, the dark red coat a dead giveaway. He was frowning, she knew he would be, and had his arms crossed over his chest. No gun pointed to her head though, she supposed that was a plus. 

“Hey killer…arms tired from all that digging?” His voice was venomous and cruel

“Listen…” She tried to get ahead of the conversation

“No, _you_ listen.” He replied, “Bobbi is one thing, she’s had it out for me for a while. But who do I find out is her little sidekick in training?”

“I didn’t know…” She tried again

“So let’s talk about this whole ‘you stole from me’ situation and lets add to it you killed some of my people and injured Fahrenheit.” His voice was sterner than she’d ever heard it before and she stared down at the ground, “That’s gotta come out to 1000 caps at least…”

“I made a mistake.” 

“You’re damn right you did!” He exploded, “If it was just the money, I’d rough you up a little an-…don’t fucking smirk at that you son of a bitch.”

She tried to wipe the expression off her face but it was too late. He sighed, groaning. She took another step forward to see his face more clearly and then gave a sigh of her own. 

“I’m sorry, Hancock. Bobbi lied to all of us and she split with most of the stash.” 

And she was sorry, she did feel bad. If she had known they were targeting Hancock, of all people, she’d have walked out just as quickly as she got pulled into the mess in the first place. She had barely talked Fahrenheit down after she’d killed the two men who were with her. Hancock wiped a hand down his face. 

“Listen, I’ll pay you back. Don’t worry.” She was backpedaling 

“Forget the money. Chump change.” He mumbled, sighing again 

“Is Fahrenheit all right?” She whispered

“She’ll make it.” He retorted

He seemed to be mulling over something in his head. It was the first time she’d seen him since that night at The Third Rail. How long had it been? Three, four months? She couldn’t be sure, time seemed to move so strangely in this new world. 

“The thing with Bobbi…have I turned into the man? Putting down people’s freedom to do what comes natural?” He sighed, “Lemme tell ya, this little tricorner hat of mine is getting heavy. I need to take a walk again. Get a grip on what really matters.”

“Take…a walk? You’re leaving Goodneighbor?” Her apprehension was gone now and was replaced by a strange curiosity 

“Let me ask you something.” He turned his attention back to her, “Are you trying to make a difference in the Commonwealth?” 

She had thought about it several times before. At first it was just about surviving, and those who happened to be around her were under that same desperate protection. She couldn’t lose anyone else. 

But it became more than that quickly. She joined and then led the Minutemen for crying out loud. And then she stumbled onto The Railroad and decided to help synths escape the Institute too. There was so much corruption, so much unfairness, all around her. 

“Look…I’m not saying anything I’m doing is changing things. But if I see someone who needs help, I help them. And if I see someone who deserves to be shot, I shoot them. It’s really that simple.”

“Simple. Huh.” Hancock straightened up slightly and faced her again, “You’re right. It is simple. And considering you owe me one…I’ll be joining you.” 

“Joining me?” She asked in disbelief

“Yeah, joining your little rag tag group. I want to get out into the Commonweath again, shake things up, remind me of my roots.” He retorted with a shrug 

“After everything that’s happened…you want to join me?” She asked again 

“Did I stutter?” He cocked his head to the side, “C’mon we can talk more over a drink.”

He led the way to The Third Rail and she followed along numbly, unsure what had just happened. The bar was relatively empty at this hour and he led the way to the back booth she’d seen him in when she first stumbled into this place so many months ago. 

Charlie brought over drinks and then sputtered away, cleaning the bar with one appendage as he went. Hancock swirled his drink, deep in thought, staring off at a place beyond her face. 

“Hancock…” But he held up her hand and she resolved herself to sipping at her drink instead of trying to force the conversation 

“So. Me and you. What do you say?” He reined himself back in and focused back on her

“All right say I take you with me. What’s that look like?” She asked, taking a gulp of the stringing drink in front of her

“Other than an exquisitely handsome ghoul at your side? I’m a man of the people, you know? I like getting out there and helping the little guy. And then stabbing anyone trying to keep them down.” He shrugged, “C’mon, you already tried to knock over someone else’s stash, so I know we see eye-to-eye on the whole ‘getting your hands dirty’ part of life.”

She couldn’t disagree with anything he’d said, and she couldn’t exactly say she’d even disagree with him being around in general. She liked Hancock, he was exceedingly kind and overwhelmingly fair. Maybe too fair. 

“What about Fahrenheit?” She asked quietly

“I told you, she’s going to make it.” 

“Doesn’t change the fact that I put her in that situation in the first place.” She retorted

“Fine.” Hancock crossed his arms, “You askin’ for forgiveness?” 

She paused for a moment and glanced up at him. Was she? It seemed like an obvious thing. Someone close to him had gotten hurt because she hadn’t been able to pull Bobbi in in time. And all that, after he’d done nothing but look out for her. 

“Yes.” She finally stated, locking eyes with him

“Then I forgive you.” He replied simply, “Anything else?” 

“Nothing.” She replied, “Welcome aboard.” 

“Right on.” He clinked glasses with hers and grinned 

They ordered another round and she found herself relaxing more and more into the leather seat behind her. Hancock seemed to be doing the same, resting an arm on the back of the booth and leaning back. 

“C’mon, don’t look so worried.” He teased her, “We’re about to have a lot of fun.”

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

“Remember when you said we’d be having a lot of fun?” She hissed, pressing her hand against his shoulder, “Is this what you meant?”

A shot ricocheted above their heads, hitting an empty tin can and knocking it to the ground and she flinched hard, closing her eyes. Hancock groaned momentarily, his own empty hand gripping at his side. 

“Well…” He gritted his teeth, “I’ve got a pretty girl hovering over me all concerned, so I’d say I’m having at least a little bit of fun.”

She scowled, pressing her hand tighter against the wound on his shoulder and earning a yelp in return. Outside, there was one super mutant left, she could hear it barreling through the barricades outside the abandoned radio station. 

“Stay here.” She released her hand from his shoulder, putting a towel in place and taking his gun from his hand. She rose to her knees and then pressed herself against the wall, peering out through an opening. The super mutant was firing erratically, and a shot pierced the opening in the wall, searing a small burn across her arm. 

“Enough of this bullshit.” She breathed, pulling a grenade from her pocket

She bit the trigger off and tossed it to the ground below. A few seconds later and super mutant guts exploded into the sky. The impact left a momentary ringing in her ears and when that subsided, she was greeted with silence. Beautiful, wonderful, silence. 

“He dead?” Hancock’s strained voice brought her back and she crawled back over to him 

“Dead.” She replied, finding her backpack and opening it frantically 

“You’re hurt.” Hancock eyed the tiny burn on her arm 

“So are you.” She finally ripped bandages free from the bag

She quickly pulled his jacket away and then began unbuttoning his shirt. In any other instant she might have felt a pang of embarrassment but at the moment adrenaline was pumping through her veins and all she felt was the heavy, spastic beating of her heart in her ears. 

“This isn’t _exactly_ how I imagined this would happen…but I ain’t complainin’.” He smirked, closing his eyes and relaxing back against the ground as much as he could 

“When you make it out of here alive, I’m going to punch you.” She retorted, beginning to wrap up his shoulder

“That’s no way to treat your human shield.” He retorted and she paused

He was right. It was her fault he was in this mess to begin with. If she had just watched the wall more carefully, if she had kept her eyes open and her stupid mouth shut, they wouldn’t have fired directly at them. And he wouldn’t have had to jump in front of her to shield her. 

“Hey c’mon…it was a joke, Freckles.” He used nicknames when he wanted to perk her up, but she continued to frown, moving to the wound on his side 

When he was sufficiently bandaged, she went back to her bag and tried to find medicine. Stimpaks, drugs, water, anything. He propped himself up against the wall behind him, hissing in a breath, and then leaned his head back against the wall. 

“Here.” She lined up a stimpak and injected it into him 

His eyes fluttered open for a moment before closing again and he sighed, the medicine already beginning to numb him. She took a moment to look him over, to catch her breath and try to bring her heartrate back down.

“Are you ok?” She whispered it, trembling

“Never better, sweetheart.” He managed to open his eyes, “Don’t worry about me.”

But she was worried. She was scared. Sure, they’d been shot at before but not like this. No one had ever been hurt like this. She closed her backpack and then sank down to the ground beside him, wringing her hands. It was the middle of the afternoon, plenty of time to rest before they needed to head back to the relative safety of camp. But still, she couldn’t calm down. 

“You’re on edge, Freckles.” He chastised her, “I hope it’s not on account of little ole me. I’ll be fine.” 

He was trying to bring her back but it wasn’t working. She sighed and reached out, wrapping her fingers around his hand and leaning a head on his shoulder. He shifted, using his good arm to wrap around her shoulders and bring her in closer. She didn’t put up a fight, just pressed her face to his neck and sighed. 

He stiffened slightly at her breath but then relaxed again, resting his head on her own. He smelled like something warm, like a camp fire or whisky, and it brought a strange comfort to her. Her arm began to throb when the adrenaline wore off and she fished in her bag for another stimpak and lined it up with a vein. 

Too high dose, she knew it immediately. She could practically feel her pupils dilate and her skin tingle. Hancock pulled away when she stiffened and then shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly. 

“Fuck.” She mumbled, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples 

“Don’t go getting all soft on me now.” He mumbled, closing his eyes again 

She slowly opened her eyes, glancing down at her hands. Her fingertips felt like electricity and she closed them into a fist to stop the jolts. She glanced back at Hancock and waited for him to open his eyes again. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to graze her electric fingertips against his chin, his mouth, his neck. 

“Oh don’t look at me like that.” He pleaded, sighing when he finally opened his eyes again 

“Like what?” She cocked her head to the side and moved closer

“Like _that_.” He retorted, “You’re just high, Joey.” 

“I’m not.” She lied, sitting between his legs on her knees 

“You are.” He replied, “Listen I…”

She reached out and touched his cheek gently. He nearly recoiled, closing his eyes and sighing through his teeth. She took it as permission and pressed her palm flat against his face, hooking fingertips under his jaw.

“Jocelyn.” He caught her wrist, her full name making her pause, “Look I…you think I haven’t been having slightly less than pure thoughts about you? Since I met you? But not like this.”

“Like what?” The denial stung and she slide her hand out of his grasp

“When you’re high. And doing things you wouldn’t normally do.” He replied, running a hand down his face

“But it’s what I want.” She replied with a simple shrug, moving in again 

He managed to catch her with his good hand at her hip this time. His other shoulder was still too tender to use both hands and she knew it. Or maybe he just wasn’t putting up as much of a fight as he could. 

She hovered in front of his face for a moment, brushing her nose against his cheek and then down his jaw. He was clenching it but didn’t immediately push her away. 

“Joe.” He tried one last time, pleading, but it was too late

She pressed herself forward, brushed her lips against his own. He groaned, deep in his throat, and she pulled herself up, putting hands on both sides of his face. He opened his eyes to access her, to maybe convince himself she wasn’t really that high, before she closed in on him again. 

She managed another kiss before her tongue licked along his lips, opening his mouth. He didn’t take a lot of convincing, this situation had replayed in his mind pretty much since the moment he’d seen her. Her tongue brushed against his and she groaned into his mouth, his thoughts blurring momentarily. 

Already her hands were making short work of his nervous system, splaying down his chest to his pants. He couldn’t even feel the pain from his wounds anymore, he just felt warm, everywhere. He jolted when a hand touched his thigh, dangerously close. 

She was back at his mouth again in the next moment, tasting him lazy, like she had all the time in the world to explore him. And that’s why it was so hard to do what he was about to do. 

She felt the pierce before she opened her eyes to see him. The syringe was lined up with her shoulder and she watched, dumbstruck, as he injected her with a light blue serum. 

“What the fuck, Han-…” But she was already out cold, slumping against him 

He let himself have a momentary weakness with her there pressed against him. He tilted his face against her hair and breathed in her scent, a mix of something floral with earthy tones and sweat. Then he gently turned her and let her lie down on the ground beside him, his crumpled up jacket beneath her head. 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

“You kissed me so I’m not sure what you’re so upset about.” Hancock retorted with a shrug, walking after her as she led the way back to camp 

“Will you stop _saying_ that?” She replied, a heated blush creeping up her neck and across her face

It was one thing to be high enough to kiss him but it was another thing entirely for him to have to tranquilize her just to get her off him. Her blush deepened at the thought and she picked up the pace. 

“Jesus, you look like shit.” MacCready was the first to see them but he barely moved from his spot by the fire to look at Hancock

“Thanks, MacCready.” Hancock mumbled, watching her stalk off towards her tent

“What’s her deal?” He asked, glancing over

“Who knows?” Hancock lied, heading to his own tent to get cleaned up 

She stayed in the relative darkness of her tent for what seemed like hours. No one bothered her and for that she was thankful. It was nearing dusk when she decided she had to get out of the tent and get washed up. 

She grabbed a towel, some toiletries, and then walked down to the river they’d been using to bathe in the past week. It wasn’t necessarily the best place to bathe, and the water was freezing, but it was better than being covered in super mutant blood all night. 

And that’s when she saw Hancock, who apparently had had the same idea. 

“Oh.” She stopped dead in her tracks as he glanced over, “Sorry, I…”

“Wait, hey, hold on.” He had a towel wrapped around his hips and was gingerly cleaning off his shoulder

She paused, long enough to grow a spine, and then walked down towards the shore beside him. She laid out her things on the shore and then turned to face him again, pretending he wasn’t shirtless in front of her. 

“Look I just…wanted to apologize.” He began, “I thought it was for the best. I didn’t want you…to regret anything.” 

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She knew he was right, albeit somewhat abrasive in action, and to be completely honest, she didn’t have the time or energy to hang onto so much anxiety.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” She conceded with a shrug, walking closer, “You’re completely missing, by the way.” 

She took the wash cloth away and shooed away his hands. The burn was still looking pretty bad but she managed to clean away the dirt around it nonetheless. She peeled off the bandage against his side and did the same, despite him squirming to get away. 

“All right…all right!” He finally managed to push her hands away and retreat a few steps towards the water, “I’m good, Freckles, Jesus.”

She grinned at the nickname and dropped the washcloth with another shrug.

“Suit yourself then.” She replied, going back to her stash of toiletries 

“Are you…just going to stand there? Or do I at least get a little bit of privacy?” She added as he continued to stand on shore, waiting for her to get undressed

“I got a choice?” He smirked and cocked his head to the side innocently

“No.” She retorted, “Turn around.”

He raised his hands in surrender but did as he was told. She quickly slipped out of her clothes and dipped into the water, yelping at the cold impact. She submerged and then broke through the surface again, hovering with just her head above water. 

“Can I help you?” She mumbled as Hancock turned around 

“Just enjoying the view.” He teased with a wink 

“At least hand me my things then.” She rolled her eyes

He gingerly bent to pick up her toiletries and then put them on the shore for her to reach. She was lucky, something had blasted this part of the shore and it all but dropped off at the edge, no creeping shoreline for her to crawl up to get her things. 

“You want company?” It was strange coming from Hancock and she couldn’t help but pause 

“You hoping you’ll still catch a peek?” She tried to lighten the mood and he grinned

“Always hoping.” He sank down onto a tree trunk and relaxed for a moment in the fading sunlight, “You know…I had no idea you were so… _forward_.” 

She groaned, grabbing shampoo and rubbing it into her scalp and hair. She tried to block out his laugh and closed her eyes, dunking her head under water to get rid of the suds. When she came back up for air he was still sitting there, a contemplative smile gracing his features. 

“Listen, just forget about it. I didn’t…”

“Forget about it?” He was smirking already, “Are you kidding? I’m going to replay it every night in my head before bed for at least a week.”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. Hancock might have been irritating and irresponsible and overwhelmingly inappropriate…but there were some moments when she really did feel close to him. 

“Replaying huh?” She waded to the edge of the shoreline and cocked her head to the side, “All you’ve gotta do is ask and you’ll get an instant replay.” 

“That so?” The joking demeanor seemed to evaporate from him and he watched her with dark eyes

“Mhm.” She focused back on washing herself, lathering her hair in conditioner 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He grinned again and leaned back against the stump 

She finished bathing and then ordered him to turn around again before she slipped a towel around herself. Already the sun was almost completely set and she wanted to be back to camp before it got too dark. 

Hancock fell in line beside her and then they parted ways without a word at the tents. She stepped inside her own and quickly got dressed, wringing out her hair with the towel. Outside, farther away, she could hear someone starting up the fire to cook dinner. She sighed, falling back against the mattress and resting her eyes for a few moments. 

A few moments turned into full minutes. It seemed so quiet for once, so peaceful. She relaxed more fully against the mattress with a sigh, letting her hair air dry. 

That’s probably why it came as a surprise when the zipper to her tent opened and Hancock stepped inside. He was in black pants and a plain white shirt, so unlike his normal attire. He zipped the tent back up quickly and knelt beside the mattress as she rose up slightly on her elbows.

“Wha-…” But he pressed a finger to her lips and shushed her 

“This is me askin’.” He whispered

In the next moment he had her jaw hooked with his fingertips and he was pulling her in, kissing her hard. She was too shocked to stay even semi-upright and they both toppled back against the mattress. She stayed very still for a moment as he pulled away, accessing her expression, and then she pulled him back by the collar of his shirt. 

He kneeled between her legs, using one arm to keep himself from crushing her and the other to pull her closer. She had her fingers twisted into the back of his shirt by the time he pulled away from her lips, licking down her neck. Her back arched and pressed her tighter to him at the sensation.

He’d had practice, that was obvious. He brushed her hair to the side and devoured her neck and shoulder and collarbone with professional skill that all but made her moan. Her body fought between goosebumps and pulling out of her skin altogether at the sensations. 

Then he was back at her mouth, licking along her bottom lip before gently biting it, sucking into his mouth. She finally moaned and he stiffened slightly, letting her stick her tongue into his own mouth and drag along his own. 

She was warm, too warm. It had never really occurred to her just how warm Hancock was but with him pressed above her she felt cocooned. He kissed her again, lighter, in time for his hand to start exploring, toying with the edge of her shirt. But then he seemed to think better of it, pressing down hard for one last kiss before pulling away. He smirked at her breathless expression, pulling away just enough for her to breathe again. 

“Not bad, Freckles.” He was teasing her, though he sounded equally breathless himself

“You’re not so bad either.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say as she stared up at him in the relative darkness

“I never get many complaints.” He grinned and flopped down beside her on the mattress

For a moment they lied there silently, just breathing, trying to process what had happened. And then she was turning over on her side, draping an arm over his chest. She clutched at his shirt and pressed her face against his neck. 

“I’m glad you’re ok.” She whispered it against his neck as he brought an arm around her, pulling her close, “I…I don’t want to lose you.”

It was the first time she’d ever admitted anything like that to him and he quietly mulled over the words for a moment. Outside the tent, she could hear several people at the fire making food, laughing, talking. Hancock was gently rubbing her arm with his thumb, leaning his head against hers. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Joey.” He finally whispered, pulling her in tight


End file.
